Limbo

For the past few weeks I’ve been stuck in limbo with my living arrangements. I’ve been trying to get the paperwork sorted out for a place to live for my final year at university; the contract on my last house ran out at the end of June and since then I’ve been stranded at my Dad’s house in Somerset. I was finally able to sign the contract for my new room yesterday, but the process has been long, slow and drawn out, and has left me feeling very frustrated.

Aspies need structure and consistency in their lives; it’s a part of our condition. We live our lives according to routine and dealing with any changes to this routine can be difficult. Speaking personally, however, I’ve found that a good, solid routine can act as a platform for personal growth and success; when I’ve had that in place I’ve been able to achieve some good things, but in order to have that solid platform I need to have solid foundations. The uncertainty of where I’m going to live and when I’m going to move in has left me without that and I’ve found it difficult to push forward with anything with any confidence. My primary concern has been getting the paperwork sorted out for my new room, which has Ben far more of a hassle this time round than for any other time before. This is the third address I’ve moved to in five years and I’m sure the amount of paperwork—the contract itself, proof of ID for myself and my Dad as guarantor for my rent—is a lot bigger than I’ve seen before.

My original plans for summer were simple: I have one exam to re-sit, but I expected to have plenty of time to prepare for that. I wanted to rebuild my fitness and stamina, which has been flagging lately due to lack of consistent activity, and spend some time writing my blog and extending the work I’ve did for my dissertation this year (a sort of intern-preneurship; more about that at another time, perhaps). I had hoped to get an internship for the summer; this was not successful but at least the free time would have given me a chance to do the other things. I was also considering getting a job to bring in some money, so that I had a bit of flexibility to spend when I wanted to and to invest in doing something adventurous. Unfortunately all that has been steadily pushed back as the paperwork for my new room dragged out. Now the re-sit exams are on the horizon and I’m going to have to concentrate much more of my time on that over the next few weeks, leaving me with less of my time to spend on everything else.

Hopefully I’ll be able to move back to Southampton next week now that the contract has been signed. Once I’m back I expect I’ll feel a lot happier and more secure, even if I’m going to be busy revising for my re-sit. I try to do my best academically and have as adventurous a life as my time allows, so it’s frustrating when I get problems like this crop up as they seem to do far too often. Southampton University has a lot of sports clubs to get involved in and I feel like I’ve missed out on far too much.